Tattoo of the year

Sardarji Joke

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.

In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a
kid and hold him for ransom.



He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him
behind a tree,

and told him, "I've kidnapped you."


Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

"I've kidnapped your kid.

Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag

and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side
of the cityplayground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".



Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and
sent him home to

show it to his parents ...



The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure
enough a paper bag was

kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting nextto the bag.





Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash
with a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?

Take the money, and Please leave my son."



Signed: Another Sardarji ...

Clever Girl

A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you"

The boyfriend says: "Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"

"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

Cost Cutting

Lazy Man

Why girls dont love Software guys??

Honesty is the best policy

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north ab out 9 months ago ?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes!," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

The Habitual Mistake

An employee walks into the Accounts office and says "What is the meaning of this. I have been paid $200 less than what was decided upon."

The Accountant replies "I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid $200 extra by mistake last month."

The employee snaps back "Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report."

Best car security of all time

Here are some ideas for securing you car!

How will you survive in this situation??

How will you survive in this situation??

THINK
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THINK MORE
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OK, SO YOU GIVE UP?
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HERE'S THE ANSWER
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TRY THIS

I Can SEE 'TEA' in A TEA-CUP
Can you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?


I can SING on Any STAGE
Can you SING in COMA-STAGE?


I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT
Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?


I Can SEND My ADDRESS to Your MOBILE
Can You SEND Your MOBILE to my ADDRESS?


TRY ALL THIS........ ....
Atleast DO the LAST ONE.

Timepass Joke

One guy suddenly got up in a plain and said

"hijack"

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Everybody in the plane put there hands up.

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Then suddenly

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Another guy from another side got up and said

"hi...john"

Joke

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did."

English In Japan